Wednesday, January 21, 2015

memories with my grandma

while i was clearing up my hard disk's photos,i came across this one.she was my grandma (my mum's mum) and this was me when i was 16 or 17??maybe 15. my mum preserved this photo well and she gave it to me two years back for my forever memories.i remember vividly, i was pretty close to her since kid as she doted me so much that whatever i requested,she will fulfilled it. she was my favorite grandma in this world. my siblings and i used to stay overnight at her place every weekends and she will bought delicious breakfast for us.time passed and after i went studied in other states,my grandma and i lost all those bonding.i never called her and i seldom visited her whenever i was home.and she always went traveling with her sons and grandsons that we seldom saw each others too..once in a blue moon,i got to meet her but she seem so stranger to me ever since.

fast forward to the time she was diagnosed with cancer.i felt my heart aching badly yet i can't do much to help.my mum who was the one crying a lots when she passed away.yeah,i mean that woman who lying in coffin was her mother..who gave birth to her. on that particular day on january 2013,i received a call from my mum that grandma had passed away and i had to be home immediately.i booked my air tickets,this was the most heart-breaking moments i ever had during "air-ticket booking session" as i used to feel happy to be home with families.the journey home was terribly emotional and hard,all my mind filled with memories that we had created together since i was kid..and all the images finished on the day i went studying abroad.i managed to reach home on time before she was buried.for the whole year,my mum felt moody.she missed her mum a lots.we seldom mentioned about grandma in front of her again as we don't wish to get her into sad mode again.

i always have a thinking in my mind.if i knew she will "gone", what i would do before that?

i will phone her more often.i regretted this so much..so much!
i will buy her favorite food.
i will bring her to her favorite vacation
i will kiss her cheeks..
i will hug her, for sure!
i will visit her more often

after all,i guess she don't need any luxurious things beside from our companions..

i don't have chance to rewind everything to the beginning again..but i want to to keep this post in my blog before all those memories fade slowly as i grow older..and i start appreciating people around me

it has been said that time heals all wounds. i don't agree. the wounds remain. time - the mind, protecting its sanity - covers them with some scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone
-rose kennedy-



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